August 4, 2008

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Well here we go again. No silly not with a new blog. With the hospital. Guess what. I'm a dizzy mess. More so than usual. There's a strange feeling at the back of my neck, it feels like someone has their thumbs pressing on it. I already know what it is- it's my backup health problem. As if the west nile wasn't enough. No, my body needed a backup plan to use against me. It's my bone thing. The bones in my neck are slowly pushing on my spinal cord. It was found on an MRI but I didn't give it a second thought because of the whole west nile thing. I've had a lightheaded sensation for a few weeks now but now it's all the time. I'm dizzy. If I stand up to fast I feel like I'm going to drop. I had another meltdown today and my mom said it's hospital time again. I told her I can't deal with the people who answer the phones there. She said she'll call tomorrow and bully them real good till they can see me. If you're not dying, you have to wait. I didn't want to go back there because of this. I was waiting to get my own neurologist so I wouldn't have to wait so long when I needed to be seen, but looks like that's not happening just yet. The hospital is run by medical bullies and I have trouble standing my ground with them. But that's another topic.

At least I have a new blog. Each new page is like Christmas.

My neck feels like Darth Vader is holding onto it, gently. It doesn't hurt. My mom said if the bones aren't lifted off the spinal cord it could result in paralysis! For real! And it starts in your hands. That would explain why my hands have been funky lately. So I guess the dizzy thing is good, it's to get my attention to get back and get more treatment? My mom said my body is talking to me. I never wanted to have a conversation with my body.

I need a stiff drink. And the only place I can get that currently is at my sister's house. But I don't think I can drive over there right now. My head is not right. You're not right either. Nobody is.

But guess what. I decided to be happy. Apparently there is no escape to all this. So I've decided to make the most of it. More so than usual. I rearranged my bedroom today and it looks cute. I'm going to make sure I never run out of chocolate, and I have some new ideas for some drawings. Just stay with me. That's all I ask. I don't know why I fight this blogging thing. I would have lost my mind without it.