.

this is my grandfather, Grampa Jones, in the 70's

the back of this picture says in my grandmother's handwriting, "Mike and Andy, July 4 1976, The week before Mike left for his new job in Arabia."

When I find these old pictures of my mom's family I find myself just staring at them. For a long time. There's this pull I feel. I need to know more about them. They're all scattered to the wind. I feel a deep yearning and an even deeper frustration that the one group of people on this planet that I ever identified with, for better or for worse, is no longer a group. It's the Clan that Never Was. That side of the family is a bunch of free-spirited wandering thinkers that are incapable of staying in one place for too long, save for the women. But it's not the women I'm interested in. It's the men. My grandfather and my two uncles. Their writings have captivated me because I understand them. Men I understand. How can this be? And therein lies my frustration. None of them are within my reach. My grandfather and uncle Mike are dead, and I already told you about uncle Andy.

Several months ago my mom brought out boxes of old letters that she's been saving all these years, which I devoured like a hungry vulture and also posted them on blogs. I'm fascinated with these strangers I'm related to. They were never around when I was growing up, they were always in some other country or some other mental planet. I was stuck with my father's normal family here in Dallas. I have at least 5 million cousins on his side. Not really. But a whole lot. And they're ALL NORMAL. It's the saddest thing.

...are you bored? Do you want to read some of their letters? Here's a couple from Grampa Jones.

oh by the way when I first posted these on a blog I changed everybody's names, but I just don't care anymore. Who cares? Do you care? I didn't think so. So Peggy isn't really Peggy and Mitch isn't Mitch, it's Mike. I'm confused. Oh and "Rusty" is Andy. If I weren't so lazy I'd go thru and fix it all but I'd rather just cut & paste and call it a day.

~*~

1977?
Dearest Peggy:
Thanks for your lovely letter, gal.
Well, you know the gal from Monterrey, Mex.? Well I got a visa for her
and we have been living together at the Ponderoso Motel and then the
Thrifty Lodge. Then we got a duplex to move into and put money down and
signed a lease for 3 months.
Well- would you believe we tired of the arrangement 2 days before
moving into the duplex so I took her to the bus station to send her to
Larado but she wouldn't get on the bus. The last I saw of her was
walking towards the Mexican part of town from the bus station. I guess
they like Ustados Unidas better than home. She is still here in Big
Spring, I guess. I'm in the duplex with Kesh and all my neighbors all
around me are military personell from Webb Air Force Base here in Big
Spring. Maybe she and I will meet and try again before long or I'll go
down and get another one. They make fine pets.
That sweet little Dana has a crush on Shawn, hasn't she? She is such a
doll, I'd do anything in the world for her. You're right, angel about
life having it's ups and downs. I can't ever turn on on speed like I
used to do in Dallas because one 5000 cures a person forever. I'm the
most legal druggist in Texas. But now I have to live more sedately and
it's a drag sometimes. I'm sure looking forward to getting my butt out
of debt and shagging it down to Guadalahara for good.
Susan is really a mess isn't she? I haven't written her yet, cause it
needs more thought beforehand. Well baby, guess that's all for now.
Write when you can.
Love,
Dad

"counselor!!!" - what a bunch of B.S.- She went thru 3 grand of mine
and then wants to be "Portia" the female bull barrister

June 30 1992
Dear Peggy & Jim,
Well, it's great to be writing a letter to my 2 favorite people in the
whole world! Thanks for your card & letter, I loved both very much.
Yeah, I'm sorry too that my marriage came unglued. Man, what a trauma
it was for me when I realized it was going down the tubes. (I'm just
getting over it now.) I was thinking, "Oh shit what will all the
friends and family think?"
But I was always VERY uncomfortable not being able to keep up with her
work schedule around there. She really wanted me to be someone I could
never be. So I had to find a passage back to the place I was before!
Now I'm really back to my own little world in Reno and it's super
great- I love it. Whenever one of the best grandkids or you two ever
want a vacation destination please come visit me. I'd love to be your
guide and host in Reno.
Love, Dad

Peggy- I found this arrow head beside the Concho River near Paint Rock,
Tex. It now belongs to you, child.

Jan 91
Dear Peggy,
Well, kiddo, I just wanted to let you know that it sure looks like I'm
getting married in the spring. (about 90% sure) But until it's sure I'm
not mentioning it to anyone but you, cuz you're my private confidante.
I think you probably remember her- Bette- she was blonde and freckled
and slim when we lived 4 doors down from them in Breckenridge
Apartments. Well, we love each other and feel we're right for each
other. I'm going back for another 5 day visit the 5th of Feb.
Would you believe she wants me to take a blood test for AIDS? I'll do
that in Burnet when I'm there visiting in Bertram. Also, she asked me
if I was gay!! I think she's been watching too much "Geraldo" on the
tube. We had a great time together when I was there Dec 25 to 30. We
had one real romantic night down on E. 6th St in Austin, going to the
night clubs along there. I felt her up and french kissed her but this
next visit in Feb. I'll have to "do the job" on her to prove I can.
She's very sweet and attractive and 60 yrs old.
Keep yer fingers crossed for me, honey. I love my oldest daughter.
Love, Dad
ps- all her grown kids came by on Xmas vacation and "examined" me. They
like me!


1976?
Dear Peggy,
I thought you would like this book to read and would appreciate it if
you were to pass it on to your mother after you're through. You and she
will probably be as mind-boggled as I was by how insidious the manner
is in which we all got unknowingly hooked. It would be impossible to go
all the way like the author did, but we might be able to cut down 60%
maybe. *
I already bought some Chinese beans at the health food store and
moisten about a dozen in a mason jar and they keep sprouting as you eat
out of the jar. I use it to snack on at night instead of junk.
Love, Dad


(* come to find out, it was a book on sugar)

...if you want to read more of his letters I posted them here-
http://www.myspace.com/lettersfromgrampa

~*~

...ok and now for some letters from Uncle Mike. (the one on the left in the picture at the top) (he's my mom's oldest brother) (dead now) (he used to send my sister and I all kinds of cool things in the mail from other countries and funny letters which we looked forward to)

May 22 1981
(written on the back of yet another Hedgehog postcard )
HHEEEEEYYYY ya liddle BRATS!
How do yez like yer new house? Pretty good, huh. Bet you gots little R2
D2 robots to sweep up and put out the cat.
I'm doin OK over here in you-know-where, among the you-know-who's. See
the weird little critter on the other side of this card? He's a
hedgehog. They're about the funniest animals I've ever seen. They live
in the US, too. didja know?
Well, bye,
Unca Mitch
ps we have five hedgehogs in our zoo here

June 7 1979
Dear All,
Hi. I would normally spare you my unruly scrawl and type this letter,
but it's late, and the walls are thin here in this pension where I
live. I hope I have your right address. Lost my fat address book down
in Mexico, and must rely on my somewhat imperfect memory for people's
whereabouts. Wrote Susan, after having gotten a letter from her, and
asked her for your address, but she must be off in never-never land
again, as she hasn't sent it yet. Rusty wrote from the Acorn Academy-
he doesn't seem to be any too lucid, but seems to want to change.
That's an encouraging sign- wrote him a long letter to try to bolster
his spirits. Got a letter from Mom, too, who seems occupied with the
the medical problems of her new husband. Hope he's doing better.
I understand there's a blessed event coming up there in your household!
Congratulations! It's nice to be an uncle three times over. Soon as the
little curtain climber gets old enough to cuss, I'll try to pay you a
visit and make him/her laugh a lot. Maybe I should have gone to clown
school, instead of university. Hiya kids, hiya hiya.
As you can see by the postmark, I'm out here in California with all the
nuts, where I belong, I guess. I really don't care for the California
brand of craziness, though. It's too damn self-indulgent. Have you been
reading the papers lately? It's unbelievable, what people can get away
with out here. They've got dingalings with Lolita glasses and cowboy
hats running for mayor in Berkeley, queers demanding to get on the
police department payroll in San Francisco, and women claiming that
it's unfair that they can't get into the boxing ring with Cassius Clay.
It's bedlam out here!
Fortunately, I'm getting out of this state soon. And out of the
country, most likely. Looks like I can't find work that's high-paying
enough here in the USA. I've been trying and trying, but nobody seems
to realize my sterling worth here. I have gotten all kinds of job
offers outside of the country, though, and it looks like I'm going to
have to take them up on it.
This is important: on some of my job applications, where complete
employment histories were asked, I lied and said I worked for your
company, Jim, c/o your address, so as to fill in some of the time I
wasn't working. I'd appreciate it, should you ever get a follow-up from
any of these companies, if you'd back me up. The dates I claimed to
have worked for you were from October, 1971 to December, 1973. My
starting salary was 525/mo and ending was 650/mo. I was a drafting
trainee, got it? Please save this letter, so you can fill in the
information and have it jive with my claims. I doubt you'll ever have
to do that, but just in case, make it good, ok?
Thanks, M.

June 2 1988
Dear Peggy,
Hello again. Is Amy all successfully graduated? She's a big girl now.
I'll bet you have the "mixed feelings" about that. They say that youth
is wasted on the young, but Amy seems to be making good use of hers. I
hope the hundred bucks I gave her for graduation are equally useful. At
all events, please pass along my congratulations to her for taking that
Big Step into the so-called real world.
Did you get your gold necklace yet? I hope you like it. As I might have
mentioned earlier, it's a Bedouin "Evil-Eye Chaser." If the necklace is
too spooky or not your style, please feel free to sell it and get
something else you like.
Peggy. Enclosed is another check that I'd like to ask you to convert to
U.S. Savings Bonds for me. This time I'll make it for $500, so that
makes $1000 in face-value bonds. Please buy 10 100-dollar bonds or five
200-dollar bonds. Does the bank charge you a fee for selling you my
savings bonds? If so, please tell me what it is, so I can reimburse
you.
I know you are a busy lady, what with your family and your business,
and your taking care of my business complicates your life even more.
All I can say is thank you and with me it's not a one-way street.

MJ
Mister Jones

June 14 1981
Dear Peggy,
Thank you for your letter that I got recently. How do you like your new
house? Pretty good, I'll bet. I'm typing this at work. There's so much
to do here. Yesterday I had to teach two whole hours. That's out of a
possible eight hour schedule. The rest of the time I just sat on my
bum. Anyway, congratulations on your new abode. Hope you and your
family will be real contentos there.
Did Dana 'n' Amy get the postcard I sent 'em of the hedgehog? I thought
they'd like the picture of the hedgehog a whole lot. In case Amy gets
tired of being hung up on turtles, hedgehogs make a good animal to move
on to. We have a whole bunch of 'em in our little zoo we've got here.
When they run, they look like one of those toy animals that have legs
sticking out in a circle from around an axle. Does that make any sense?
Like this:
Oh, well. You live over here long enough, and you can get away with
writing about stuff like this, and nobody sends the little men in white
coats with butterfly nets after you. It's real convenient. Get rich,
too.
I'm going on another vacation pretty soon. Was thinking of going to the
Orient, but decided that's too expensive, and would defeat the purpose
of my being over here, which is to save lotsa money. So I'll go to
Greece instead. I've been there four or five times already, but at
least it's cheap, and there are plenty of islands that I haven't seen
yet. And it's out of the Muslim world. There's this big island in the
north called Korfu where all these European wenches so to swim without
their tops of their bikinis on. Hubba, hubba. And you can take a boat
up to Yugoslavia, where there are even more Mediterranean islands
(Adriatic, actually) and topless wenches, white sand and crystal-clear
blue water.
I never know from one day to the next if I'll stay on here. I take it
one day at a time. What I plan to do is amass as much money as
possible, come back to the States, buy a car, get back into some
university and finish up my Masters. I've only got about six months to
go on it. Maybe work part-time. Hell, I'm not too old for that, am I?
What I'd really appreciate is if you'd call or write the nearby
universities, NTSU, UT/Arlington, UT/Dallas or even SMU, and find out
which ones offer an MA in either Public Administration or Educational
Administration. Those are the subjects I'm interested in. I'd prefer a
state university because it's cheaper.
Yeah, yeah, I know, the eternal student. Well, it beats staying over
here for the rest of my life. What good's money, if you can't enjoy it?
If I get my MA, maybe I'll be able to get a good job Stateside. I'd
like that.
So anyway, could you do that for me? I hope it isn't too much trouble.
I know you're real busy with your new house, but maybe you can find
some time to squeeze me in, yes? By the way, I don't want to go to
UT/Austin, although UT/El Paso would be ok. The school has to be in
Texas, because I'm still a resident of that state, and again, it's
cheaper. Silas Marner, here.
Thanks. Let me know if I can get you anything from over here. You know,
more head-dresses, T-shirts that say Saudi Arabia, Love It Or Leave It,
etc.
Your Brother,
M.
ps- still not smoking or drinking- going on 3 1/2 months now. Can run a
mile in under 10 minutes and have gotten rid of my beginning pot belly.
Do excercises every afternoon. Am working on 2 1/2 mile run without
stopping. Progressively difficult time-limits. Disgustingly healthy.
Soon I'll be just another insufferable health-nut.

Jan 20 1978
Dear Peggy & Family-
Thanks for the belt. I like it alot. I like most C & W stuff, as long
as it doesn't have any rhinestones or sequins on it. I'm glad the
buckle wasn't one of those big, square silver and turquoise
interpretations of a cow-flop, too. It's very nice. I wear it even now,
thanks.
Enclosed is a nice batik I found this last trip to Ceylon. Hope you
like it. The coin I sent you is a Saudi gold soverign. I have
absolutely no idea what it's worth over there in civilization. You'll
have to get it appraised, I guess. It's real gold, though, I know that,
with a bit of alloy mixed in to make it hard enough to keep its
integrity. Bet if you keep it, it'll be worth something someday. Make
it into a necklace or something. (I paid about 50 smakers for it.)
As I wrote our mutual mother, my latest plan is to finish up my MA at
the University of the Americas in Puebla, Mexico. They have a good
applied linguistics program there, where I can finish up in about a
year. I'll only go, though, if they'll pay me to-with a TA-ship.
Otherwise I'll take the job in South America I was offered.
Glad to hear of your success in school. Did you write that you're in
special education? I've already misplaced your letter that came with
the belt. Wait. I remember- speech pathology. Good field. Lotsa money
in it, too.
The pictures of Dana & Amy are most humorous. They're really cute kids.
Enclosed also is a comic book for them that I found in India.
Well, bye. Six more months to go in this dump. Then come two months of
helling around in Europe and then, who knows? With money, many things
are possible. Wahoo!
M. Jones

February 12 1989
Hello out there,
I never thought I'd see this place again, but here I am, back among the
bleedin' heathens, cooling my heels in the desert. 150 years ago, I'd
have been wearing a red coat and seconded from Queen Vickie's Own
Hussars to the Punjab Light Calvary, where I'd be tallying horse
blankets for John Company.
As it happens, they've got me ensconced in a very 20th-century cubicle,
just like at IBM, with a computer on my desk that moos each time I
screw up. I'm supposed to be writing and editing vocational curricula,
like how to be an ambulance driver, how to work a spreadsheet, how to
type good. Of course, everybody knows it's all blarney, balderdash, and
bee-ess, since the onliest one who'll ever read our training modules is
the writer. Oh, well. It beats classroom teaching.
On this job, they let me take a vacation after four to six months.
Where to go? The world is my rubber duckie.
Well, it's almost time to hie me off to work. My sleeping shedyule is
still out of whack, so I'm writing this at 4 ayem. God be with ye =
Goodbye.
I am: Mister Jones

Monday, February 18, 2008
Dec 25 1976
Dear Peggy & Jim,
Hello-! Merry Christmas, hoho, jingle jangle and rest ye merry,
gentlemen. Bah, humbug, joy to the world, bless the poor and Silent
Night. Macy's Bargain Basement, Christmastree oh Christmastree,
coloured lights that flash on and off in the windows, one horse open
sleigh. Sante Claus!
Anyway, Christmastree Time isn't at all what it's like in the USA here
in Saudiland. Here it's just like any other day: people just mope
around and talk funny, all dressed up in sheets. I've seen merrier
celebrations of the entry of the Black Plague into Europe. Oh, well.
It's a living.
Anyway, you should be getting some exotic objects d'art through the
mails pretty soon. For Christmas. Hand-carved gee-gaws that should look
nice on a mantlepiece. I hope you like them.
Uh, now that I've mentioned gift-giving and have you where I want you,
I wonder if I could ask you a small favor? Heh heh. Soon I'll be having
some rather expensive electronic equipment shipped duty-free to the
states. It's all quite legal- I buy the stuff at a duty-free port and
ship it tax-free stateside at substantial savings, using my APO postal
priveledges. Could I ask you to store it for me? I'll have it sent
directly to your door if you agree. All you have to do is see that it
gets hidden away somewhere and stays unopened. Do you have room? The
shipment would contain six boxes of stereo components, plus a colour
television. Their total worth is around $1500, so maybe this entails
some uncsented(?) responsibility. If so, perhaps you could recommend a
good storage house in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area.
You'd be keeping it for as much as a year or more, since I don't know
when I'll be back in the states. My teaching contract ends January
1978, but I plan to take a trip around the world when all this is over.
No telling how long that'll take. You might be stuck with it for a
while. The only reason I ask you in particular is that you are both
dependable, responsible people. I'm sure it'd be safer with you than
with anybody.
Do what you think best. I want to thank Dana & Amy for their Christmas
cards and pictures. They're really bright, happy kids. Maybe the nutty
streak in the family stops with you and them. Hope all is well with you
both, and again, Merry Christmas.
Sincerely,
M.Jones

June 16 1988
Dear Peggy,
How are you? I hope you have received your necklace by now and that you
like it. If it's not your style, please feel free to sell it and get
something else. Hope Amy is enjoying my erstwhile automobile and the
ear-boggling stereo equipment she's going to put in it.
Thanks very much for taking care of my bidness for me. I just received
the photocopies of my savings bonds you sent. I suppose by now you have
received my 500-dollar check that I sent you about a week ago to buy
another $1000 of face-value savings bonds. If not, please let me know.
Again, please continue to buy savings bonds with the balance of the
Toyota payments.
My present job pays more money than I can ever expect to make in the
future. It's one of the most difficult jobs I've ever had, but I plan
to stay with it as long as possible (two to three more years if the
contract lasts.) I've been irresponsible with money in the past, so I'm
trying to make up for all the water over the dam now. I've got an offer
to do Tech writing in Japan, but I would have to pay taxes on that
income, and living in Japan is expensive. So I'll just stay put.
Ho hum. There's probably nothing more boring than somebody else's
investment strategy. I'll tell you some of mine because there's not
much else to write home about from the UAE except the hot weather (125
degrees F) and all the money I'm making. It may also be nice for you to
know I'll never show up at your house one day asking to borrow money.
I'm very employable now, but as one gets older, more and more doors
start to close. (It's really not so bad in the UAE: I have a social
life, and do snorkeling and jogging for sport/fitness/entertainment.
Not like Saudi, where the ragheads were on a centuries-old no-fun kick:
work, sleep, and eat only or else.)
Anyway, I'm buying into tax-sheltered annuities, CDs, savings bonds,
and am building up an IRA all for a prudent, long-term financial base.
After I get the basics taken care of this year, I'll start buying into
real estate. Just call me Mr. Big Shot.
One of my main reasons for writing is that I've been hearing from Dad
recently and have been disturbed at the tone of his letters. As you
know, he's living with Rusty, and from what Dad writes, things are not
going so good. In short, Rusty continues to screw up and is making
Dad's life miserable. All this is just more of the same, ongoing sad
story, but the new wrinkle is that Rusty is getting weird, maybe
dangerously so: he pulls all the blinds and curtains while Dad is away
and sits in a chair with a butcher knife in his lap to protect himself
in case anyone should break in.
Peggy. Do you know Dad's number in Harlingen? Doesn't he have a phone
now? If so, please call him and (if you agree with me) convince him to
put Rusty where he belongs: in an institution. Dad isn't equipped to
deal with a psychotic and besides, he has how many more years on this
planet? 5? 10? 15? However many he has left, those years should be
spent in peace, not babysitting some looney-tunes relative. That's not
how you get rid of guilt. It's bad for both parties anyway, somebody
might get hurt.
Well, bye for now.
Your brother, Mr. Big Shot, Mister Jones

~*~

(...you know what? I think EVERYONE should go ahead and ask their mom, today, just call her up and ask if she saved old letters from family members. Read them. Enjoy them and learn from them. And don't stop there! Share them for crying out loud! I guarantee there is SOMEONE in your family who's holding on to a wealth of history and insight pertaining to your family, as we speak, but the person who saved the letters thinks nobody is interested so they haven't mentioned it. )