My body is breaking down, however, I strongly suspect with a quick flip of a surgeon's knife I will be made well once more. I'm thinking all I need is a few of those little bones popped off and I'll be up and running again. I'm dizzy. And my palms are numb. And I didn't know it but, I can't walk that good at all. I didn't know cause all I do is schlep around the apartment with no physical challenges at all. But today my mom insisted we go to the ER to get checked out, and I couldn't hardly make it up the stairs in the parking garage. They just kept going. I didn't. I walk slower than your great-grandmaw. My mom says I "have worsened greatly." Yay! Yay worsening greatly!! But the wait was too long. We were there all day. Got there at 10 and finally gave up and left around 6. For one thing they had my name wrong, and I heard them calling over and over again, "AMY MCBRIDE! AMY MCBRIDE! LAST CALL FOR AMY MCBRIDE!!! ..and there was no Amy McBride. Several hours passed and some guy noticed we had been there forever, and he goes, you don't even have an arm band yet? You were supposed to get one at registration. So we checked it out and they thought I was Amy McBride. I said no, I have no idea how you got that name. So they had to start all over again with me. People kept coming in on ambulances and that bumps you further down the list. I gave up. I am not sleeping in the waiting room. One lady said she waited once for 3 days. So I am going to go back through the system and endure the waits between appointments, and in the meantime, hope and pray I don't up and pass out any time soon. My neck is holding on by a thread. That's what it seems like. The pressure is saying, "I am going to get you."
So I also met a cute guy but as I was reaching for my pen my mom cleared her throat real loud and said no under her breath. He cooks food for the homeless people downtown. I keep meeting cooks! Things are looking up! He said he noticed me when I first came in. That tells me right there he's not too selective. I was limping and holding my head. He messed up his leg and I told him I can't date because I'm too messed up and he laughed and said he was messed up too. This gives me hope. In fact I saw a whole lot of limping guys today and thought, maybe I really should stick with other messed up people. That way I won't feel so bad. Also there was a woman there who also got lost in the system and waited too long and just belted out, "I AM ABOUT TO GO POSTAL ON THIS MOTHER F*$^&NG PLACE!!" And she stormed out. Then a crazy woman came in and started doing air guitar with her cane. I am not kidding.
But out of all these noteworthy things, the very best one is my new coffee cup. It's styrofoam but it's hillarious. It all started when my mom saw people go up to this window in a remote corner of the waiting room. She said it looked like they were getting prescriptions. That is until we saw a hand come out with popcorn in it. It's a little food thing! Built into the wall. So my mom went over and got herself some popcorn and came back with some coffee for me. I had not cracked a smile all day until I read the cup. It says: "For a tasty treat that keeps you on your feet, visit Parkland Perk!" ..meaning, the little hole in the wall thing is calling itself Parkland Perk! Like Starbucks except it's in an emergency room! It's unmarked, no signs, no nothing. So I did visit Parkland Perk but it's not keeping me on my feet. And there's also a happy bright sunshine design on it. A stark contrast to the sounds of people vomiting in the bathrooms and the cussing old people.
I need my neck fixed. It's shutting down my central headquarters. I don't know what to do or how to do it. I have trouble taking charge of myself medically. I turned it all over to my mom. I'm not ashamed to say I need help right now. I need other brains involved and I need the moral support. My mom is a real friend right now. She keeps me fed and sane and I forgot to say, she said about my new friend (he sat on the floor next to me and kept me entertained) she said, Amy he is BAD NEWS. I didn't see that in him. I feel bad now. He even wrote me a little note. I tore it up when I got home to keep my from scanning it and posting it. My whole world is a show and tell session right now. I can't help it. It helps me cope.
